I'm Not Ready

Funny thing happened last week. When I went to start my Momster Monday live session on Facebook. I wasn't ready. Well, technically, I was ready but my phone and internet connection were not.

See, Gracey and I were carpooling because the Rose househould is once again down to 3 cars temporarily (long story, trust me we don't have time) and we were trying to minimize the back-and-forth driving between our house and town. So I planned to do my Live in the car while she was walking one of her doggy clients. Except that something wonky happened and I didn't have enough bars to even open Facebook much less go live. Such irony.

The thing is sometimes we can do all the things to be prepared and still feel not ready. Sometimes that not ready feeling is actually driven by an emotion and sometimes it's actually a choice.

You might feel not ready for a life change because you're sad or scared. Moms sending little ones to Kindergarten or dropping kids off at college fall in this category. This change was always coming, we saw it for years, and we did all the things to prepare. But somehow, when it got here, it was still hard.

If that's you, there's two things I suggest doing: 1- breathe deeply and 2- figure out what the underlying feeling is (fear, grief, etc) and sit with it. Without a doubt, #1 is easier to do yet we often overlook it and spend our time holding our breath and operating in the trunk of our brains. But nobody likes doing #2 because it feels vulnerable, but once you do it, you feel so much better.

If that's something you haven't ever done, it is something I can help you do. That's one of the things a coach does. We sit with you and face the thoughts and feelings that keep you stuck.

The other possibility is that you are actually choosing to not be ready.

This happens with decisions like starting a new job, moving to a new city, finding a new church or, in our case, desiging the new deck in the back yard. You tell yourself you're not ready to make a choice because you need more information, or you need more time, or you just don't know what to choose. Sometimes it's because you're scared to choose, sometimes it's because you're too busy to think about it. All choices.

If this is where you are, well, you gotta try two things. 1- breathe. I know, I know, I'm always harping on breathing. But the thing is, we spend a lot of time suffocating our brains when a few deep breaths would really make a big difference. 2- make a choice, even a small one. If "the decision" you're facing feels too big to just choose, that's okay. I don't want you to be reckless. But you can choose to do something like break it into smaller decisions and make one of those happen.

If you don't know how to do that, or you're intimidated by the process, that's another thing a coach can do for you. We can help you gain perspective and move out of that stuck spot. 

This week's Momster Monday was about not being ready and how we can move past that. There's a funny story about me hyperventilating into a dirty rag and a blurb about running from bears. It's worth a watch. While you're there, check out this week's Thoughtful Thursday and take a deep breath. Or maybe you need this reminder...