My Heart & My Newsfeed

The internet of the 21st century is creepy.  With all the tracking apps and spyware, it's easy to feel creeped out by technology. I do, at least. I mean, seriously, a week or so ago, I sat down and planned an imaginary vacation. This is something I do from time to time. Pick a place, usually somewhere tropical, and pretend I'm going on vacation there. I look for flights, hotels, restaurants, you name it. And I plan the whole thing as if it were going to really happen. 

Anyhow, back to my point. The creepy internet. 

So I did this very dream vacation planning thing and then pretty soon ads for my selected spot were popping up everywhere. I first noticed that Orbitz was emailing me hotel suggestions and cheaper flights for said dream vacation. Then in the margins of my Facebook feed there were ads. Soon I noticed that the creepiness was infesting every digital device I own because guess what, they're all linked through my Google+ account. 

Is nothing sacred anymore? I can't even plan a pretend vacation without the marketing spies stalking me at every turn. What has this world come to?

And then, this nugget of truth popped into my brain: my heart is like my social media newsfeed. 

Yes, that's right. I said it. My heart is like my newsfeed. 

You see, that which I put into my heart is what comes to mind repeatedly. That which I dwell on is what comes out of my mouth. The things I read pop up into my thoughts at the oddest times. Songs? They do it too. Photos and other images are even worse. And the more I ruminate on these things the more they manifest themselves in the newsfeed of my heart. 

This can be good. But often it is just bad. Especially if you're an anxious sort with a touch of OCD like I am. Oh come on, who am I kidding? I'm a control freak, type A worry-wart. There. I said it. And so this kind of marinating is really bad for my outlook and even worse for my soul. 

You see, it's that age old truth of garbage in, garbage out. If I obsess over the number on the scale, or the way that mom homeschools her kid, or how badly I messed up yesterday, that is what is going to come out in my life. Worry, obsession, poor self-esteem, competition, envy, lack of self-worth. And pretty soon I'm going to be googling how to fix it. This only makes the cycle more detrimental because now I'm not only obsessed that something is wrong, I"m hell-bent on fixing it. 

But, if GIGO is true, then good stuff in, good stuff out must also be true. 

So if I can somehow stop myself, breathe and then redirect my thoughts to something else, I might just be able to stop the vicious cycle. If I can just grab hold of the reins, tell the enemy to take a hike and focus on all the good stuff God is doing, maybe, just maybe that good stuff will actually come out in my life. 

That's what I'm working on these days. I'm tired of the enemy's spies stalking me, lurking around corners, studying my weaknesses and then laying tripwires in front of me. I'm tired of being trapped in an endless newsfeed of "I'm not good enough" or "If only I" and "But look at her" or "Why did this happen to me?" 

It has to stop. Today. Right now.

Today, I cancel my subscription to the devil's newsfeed. I'm not going to lend an ear or type into google any crazy idea the enemy puts into my head. No more walks down memory lane, listening to his revisionist history and misinterpretation of events.

Today, I'm going to stop reading his blog.

Today I'm going to remove his spyware from my heart and turn my focus elsewhere. 

Today, I start filling the newsfeed of my heart with God's truth, with things that turn my eyes to him and fill my heart with love and gratitude. That might mean literally unsubscribing to some social media things. It might mean listening only to worship music. I know it means spending a lot more time praying and a lot less time obsessing, analyzing and processing.

Yes, today's the day my newsfeed reflects who I am in Christ not who the devil wants me to be. 

Finally, [sisters], whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8